Friday, 18 December 2009

Bumper update!

well, in the wake of Ben’s awesome find of competely disturbed meta-manga, i have to make up in quantity when i cannot compete in quality.  without further ado, I present:

Super Mario Metal! complete with gay ending!

next:  The Tetris God

Obama pills!

image

http://www.fhm.com/news/funny-stuff/ecstacy-pills-that-look-like-barack-obama-20091208

Sonic vs Pac-man

did you know that pac-man is so called because japanase people, when they eat, don’t go “yum yum” or “miam miam” or anything like that – no, they go “paku-paku”. FACT.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grog#In_popular_culture

credit: many of these video game-themed links i came across via the excellent soup.io stream called “we love video games"

man weds anime game character!  (guess where?)

Read up on what the correct technique for peeling a banana is.  if you need practice, but want to avoid the calories, why not use a banana peeling simulator?  more info here, make sure you read the description!.

some fail:

image

from http://failblog.org/2009/12/16/jump-fail-5/ thanks george

hilarious prank on twitter - you’ll have to scroll down to the first few updates to figure out what’s going on…

and finally, a quote from a friend of mine, who would probably wish to remain anonymous, but that was of such high quality that it should be shared with the rest of the internets:

"I was trying to see which setting to put my fan on without my lenses and it fell on my face , but i was drunk naked and simultaneously eating cheese and crackers so i passed out - woke up to a bruised nose, how many times???"

aaaaah.

Monday, 14 December 2009

Meta-Manga

First, Abstraction. That's pretty weird. Then, by the same artist (Shintaro Kago):

Punctures
Multiplication
Blow-Up
The Memories of Others.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

A pome

a poem by my mum:

As I was sitting there, not thinking very much,

Quite quiet, eyes bemused by the flick’ring picture’s touch,

A spider descended slowly, slowly from its hidden seat

And landed, oh so delicately, between my slippered feet.

                                         --

It was not a very big spider, barely visible at all.

In fact, by domestic standards, it really was quite small

And my poor eyes could barely see the thread

That attached it to the beam above my head.

                                         --

Securely anchored, self absorbed, serenely unaware

That I could be death’s instrument, just for a petty dare,

Randomly exploring the carpet, this arthropod so neat

Turns eight legs, this way and that, between my slippered feet.

                                         --

I looked at the spider and I suppose it  looked at me

But exactly where its eyes were, I really could not see.

Then it went back up, drawing in its slender thread ,

Slowly, slowly, no explanation, to its beam above my head.

                                         --

 

Now my mum’s poems are usually a bit deeper, but this one was so much fun I thought I’d share it with the internets. not bad for someone with english as a second language eh?

meanwhile, here’s a round of the stuff that made me giggle on the onion video:

Saturday, 5 December 2009

swine flu prevention tips from cosmo

image

I love the last one in particular. I’m going to be exclusively bumping fists at all the job interviews and business meetings I go to from now on.

in other news: Star Wars status updates!  (thanks Felix)

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Anathem!

Teh4365_de59_750_G

finally got me copy of the new Neal Stephenson book, and it is as awesome as you might expect. 

meanwhile, here’s a crazy story about going on the lam in the USA, with the whole of the internets chasing you.

Here is the latest episode of “…in Japan”, I think I’ll let the URL speak for itself: http://pinktentacle.com/2009/11/bra-doubles-as-golf-putting-mat/

and finally, a quick plug for three web-based businesses run by people I know. it probably breaks the unspoken terms of service of this site to post them, but its Christmas, could come in useful:

  • Cider Online – Broome Farm cider
  • Grannies, Inc – custom beanies knitted by grannies
  • Watch Me Go – nice affordable watches, including sweet-ass retro casio digital ones. 12% off if you use the code FRIENDSOFWMG at checkout.

[update]  and finally, here’s a DJ Cripple old school playlist:

Friday, 20 November 2009

WEEEEEE

turn of all the lights, turn up the music, and watch this.  we’ll soon find out if you have epilepsy…

Kings of Power 4 Billion % from Zarradeth on Vimeo.

awesome.  40 million points. Thanks George. Also:

Alternate-Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Procrastinators unite!

image

in japan:

in france:

in california, around the time of our [first] conflict with saddam and the i-raqis:

image

one million points to this website: Halt! Suppenzeit. bewarned, big timewaster:  (fundamentally, this guy is just much better than i am at posting stuff at the web. thank goodness ben brings up our average)

and finally, some links with absolutely universal appeal: programmer jokes!

http://limerickdb.com/?top150

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/234075?sort=votes&page=1#sort-top

Sunday, 8 November 2009

Paul-itis nut allergy disease

Does anyone else suffer from the following problem: whenever any mention is made of nut allergies in normal conversation, a grin appears on your face as you are totally unable to suppress a memory of the following Paul-spawned meme from france ‘99

“because our food is prepared in the same kitchen as our crack production, we must warn our customers that all our food may contain traces of crack”

with an overwhelming urge to just start reeling off the above quote, no matter how inappropriate to the context? perhaps it’s just me. meantime:

Friday, 6 November 2009

another post from the ranting raver

off-topic for the blog really, but here’s something chuck had to say of late which i thought may as well be on the intertubes.

“MISTABISHI IS A FRAUD”

In case you haven't heard...
http://forum.breakbeat.co.uk/tm.aspx?m=1971700605
http://dnbforum.com/showthread.php?s=4986c6c83ca5d906abc33ebbde7de351&t=87316
Perhaps you find this amusing.  That wasn't my reaction :-(  I thought, it's not fucking Mistabishi who is the demon.  This shit happens when the scene encourages it.  It makes me want to scream:
I FUCKING HATE ALL THE MOTHERFUCKERS WHO HAVE SYSTEMATICALLY KILLED THE UK DANCE MUSIC WHICH IS PART OF MY HERITAGE AS A BRIT AND SOMETHING WHICH I CAN'T STOP LOVING.
THE YOUTH IS FUCKING ARROGANT FUCKING DICKHEADS WITH THEIR BULLSHIT CANT MIX WONT MIX PHILOSOPHY, ACQUIRING RUBBISH EASY COME EASY GO FANS AT THE COST TO THE TRUE HEADZ, THE REAL SHIT.  I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SOME DEVISIVELY WEIRD SHIT, JUST UNITY THROUGH DIVERSITY.  STOP BICKERING ABOUT HOW ORIGINAL YOUR NON-ORIGINAL NON-DIVERSE SHIT IS AND LEARN TO MIX SO THAT THE MUSIC DOESN'T CONTINUE TO DESCEND INTO SELFISH MINDED NONSENSE WITH NO RELATION TO THE REAL TOGETHERNESS MUSIC WHICH IS 'ARDCORE AND ITS OFFSPRING -- DRUM N BASS AND OTHER HARDCORE BREAKBEAT SCIENCE FROM UK GARAGE TO DUBSTEP TO BREAKCORE.  EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF SHARING THE VIBE ON A DANCEFLOOR WHICH IS FULLY CONTROLLED BY THE DJ and MC.  THEN PUT IT INTO PRACTICE BEFORE THE ARTFORM IS DEAD.
I'm sick and tired of how modern producers who can't mix are making tunes for people who can't mix which forces the real DJs into the corner when they're trying to construct a set, because no one understands shit about the subtleties of the mix any more.  Listen to old tapes by the originators of this sound -- grooverider, ratty, randall, ltj bukem, top buzz, ray keith, dj zinc, kemistry and storm, doc scott, brockie, frank de wulf if you like techno, frankie bones if you like house, i dunno about all the scenes but i know they used to know how to mix across the board, across different bpms.  Listen to how the old masters and mistresses used to construct sets, move sideways in the mix as well as up and down.  Listen to how the beat flips, changing the emphasis, how you can use this to change people's groove, change people's minds.  Listen to the no-compromise people of the modern scene, loxy being a prime example of someone who sticks to his guns.    Listen to James Brown for gods sake.  Listen to King Tubby.
Basically, what i'm saying is... if you want to mix, then you must learn to mix.  If you produce, then take this home go think it through, then go and write proper intros for a change, something inventive, something challenging to yourself and others.  And if you really think, "i can beatmatch my CDJs, i know what i'm doing", then you should try some shit that they don't know yet, expand your techniques, learn how to do harsh cuts and slow blends.  Learn how to perform the way you want to, but start with a wide palette of colours so that you can select exactly the ones you want, so that you're not pushed about by your limited technique.  Learn how to drop a tune from the second breakdown and have it mixing out before the record runs out.  Then go and write your outros better.  Listen to Foul Play and old Moving Shadow records.  Reinforced and Metalheadz, Certificate 18, Philly Blunt, Dread recordings and old V stuff too.  And stop fucking double dropping shit 'like Andy C', you wouldn't know the skill of the man in any case, if you need to know, go look at the first five years of his productions and listen keenly... start with "Cool Down" and "Sound Control".  Learn to mix that shit, if you can, if you dare.  It doesn't mix like do wop be bop shoo be doo bullshit, it requires some skill, but you get amazing combinations of sound if you can handle it, astonishing diversity, and the creative freedom to express something truly personal.  That's worth fighting for.
And if you think that i'm just talking about mainstream shit, nah nah nah, all the fucking breakcore artists need to fucking learn their shit too, all the wonk weird dubstep headz, all the fidget house crack business (i don't give a fuck what you call it, it's just some fucking breakbeat house at the end of the day), all the producers of vinyl and DJ recordings need to look at themselves and ask themselves honestly if they actually know shit about mixing, take some responsibility for making the scene better, compose tunes which develop, articulate structure as well as style.  Yes, even the underground genres.  Even the ones who are better than the shit that dominates, they shouldn't rest on their laurels, but try and raise their game back to the levels which we were used to in the mid 90s.  Please.  It's not enough to be better than the next man when he just chucked a mix cd on in the club.  Don't compare, just raise your game.
Then, if all the fucking youth concentrated for a minute on writing tunes which mixed properly, trend surfers such as Ram Records would step up their production game, tutor their up-coming artists with more integrity, and the whole scene(s) would benefit (i'm including the dubstep scene here, whose shit intros are even shitter than the modern DnB tunes), just like when Ganja Kru pulled up their socks and dragged themselves back from the black hole of pop absurdity in the late 90s with a series of killer releases for the DJ.  I admit it was somewhat easier, because at the time, True Playaz weren't carrying any 'apprentices', it was a tight crew.  But before then, way back, Zinc was apprentice to Hype, and he wasn't allowed to put out any tunes until his basslines were of the requisite standard;  this discipline resulted in Zinc's first release on True Playaz, a moderately successful effort called 'Super Sharp Shooter'.  Good shit comes to those that learn their shit and apply their skills correctly.  If Ram, Hospital etc want to play the game properly, they should be teaching their youth good habits, not picking up their bad ones, act responsibly.  I look forward to decent releases from the likes of Subfocus and other wasted talent.  Plus if someone actually supports the development of an artist like Breakage, imagine how good he could be!  Not to mention a million fringe producers who idolise Amon Tobin, Squarepusher and their ilk, remember to find a method in your composition of constructing sets, not just a concert of tunes, or we'll be going back to the dark days before James Brown playing for 3 or 4 hours changed the way we dance to music forever, when concerts were dull and intermissions were common, when no one gave a flying fuck about how tunes went from one into the next.  I want a better future than that.
THE NEW WAVE OF PRODUCERS, "DJs", and PROMOTERS OF THE 2000s AND BEYOND NEED TO LEARN SOME FUCKING HUMILITY.  PLAY YOUR OWN TUNES IN YOUR SET, OF COURSE, BUT MAKE IT A GOOD SET...  UNDERSTAND THAT MOST OF THINGS THEY'RE GOING TO TRY HAVE ALREADY BEEN TRIED BEFORE.  INVESTIGATE NEW AVENUES OF CREATIVITY WHILST RESPECTING THE CULTURE, THIS SHIT GOES BACK TO METALHEADZ, AWOL, SPEED AND... RAGE... AND THE ILLEGALS OF COURSE... BACK TO PARADISE GARAGE, THE WAREHOUSE OF CHICAGO, THE DAYS OF SOUND SYSTEM IN THE STREET IN KINGSTON, JAMAICA.  NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE IT FWD TO SOMETHING NEW, BUT YOU CAN ONLY DO SOMETHING NEW IF YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT THE START, RIGHT!

expect normal service of inane links to resume shortly.  :)

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Friday, 30 October 2009

the important think is – make a plan

http://www.astro.ufl.edu/~jybarra/zombieplan.pdf

choice excerpts:

“ZBSD: This term is coined in the context of this exercise as a descriptive term for a variety of similar situations,
the causes and taxonomical delineations of which have yet to be determined by the scientific community.
Hence, the phrase zombie behavior spectrum disorder or ZBSD must not be understood as a scientific or
medical diagnosis; but merely as a descriptive term covering a wide variety of behaviors having
somewhat similar public “event profiles” and public impacts. Note further that as the science of these
events evolves, further disaster planning exercises may be necessary to incorporate specific dynamics of
divergent outbreak etiology and behavior patterns.”

“Part 2 of the exercise will be a discussion of how the overall impact of a zombie outbreak will affect use of
and support for the course management system and will address such issues as: […]

  • d. The spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may complicate policy making;
  • e. Conversely, the spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may simplify and streamline policy
    making resulting in dramatic improvements in administrative responsiveness and service delivery;”

even footnotes!

“8 Lawrence, F. (2007). I Am Legend. In this documentary study of a ZBSD outbreak in New York City and
surrounding areas, Lawrence asserts that the zombies were effectively deterred by garlic. However, it can
be argued that the infected analyzed in Lawrence’s study were not, in fact, zombies at all due to their
conscious hunting behavior, inability to come out during the day, and volitional, fluid movement. Hence,
Lawrence may not be portraying ZBSD at all but part of what may be considered zombie behavior
spectrum disorder; in which some infected not at the “true zombie” part of the spectrum (cf. Schlozman,
op cit. fn 4) may in fact be deterred by the smell or presence of garlic. Once again, however, it is not the
purpose of this disaster preparedness exercise to enter into this scholarly discussion.”

etc etc etc.  outstanding stuff

Thursday, 29 October 2009

thanks Dave!

for my subscription to Viz!

BNPea

hooray!  copyright Viz n that. get your own subscription or summink.

meanwhile, uptown:

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Did I mention

that my intertubes have been cut off? It's not easy, you know.

Which means I'll just fall back on posting links to Dresden codak:cave man sci-fi! Me go too far!

I cannot think of a subtle way to make a masturbation joke about this guy. (video!)

I have no way of watching the Klingons do Eminem at work, so I need someone else to look and tell me just how execrably bad it is.

(sidenote; if you ever get curious about what the the kids are being told that the kids are listening to...)

Back to work!

Sunday, 25 October 2009

this week’s unmissable news:

 

  • teenage mutant ninja… poodle?  (thanks dave). 

image

i don't know what's more impressive. the poodle or the lady behind it and her shirt.  more “extreme poodle grooming” (yes, there’s a name for it)

 

  • do you believe in evil?

skip to 4:16. identified thanks to http://thedansemacabre9.blogspot.com/2007/07/1.html.  here’s a link to the orbital gig recordings, in case you’ve missed them…

http://www.mediafire.com/file/zykzxiy22ol/London240909 part 1.mp3

http://www.mediafire.com/file/mwyyl3y34mh/London240909 part 2.mp3

 

 

 

  • and, finally, the solution to the stupidity of youtube comments: FeynTube (thanks George)

 

have a good week!

Monday, 19 October 2009

no people!

this is from josh & jo’s blog about their recent crazy mission to vietnam on a train.  while they were in china they spotted this street sign which shows you some of the rules which you must obey:

here are some of the ones that struck me (in excel cell notation)

  • C1 – no wheelchairs? – a bit harsh, surely
  • C2 – no waving axes around - fair enough.
  • A3 – no skiing.  ok.
  • C3 – no throwing up. or, possibly, no spotting anything on the floor
  • D3 – no jumping through the air doing the splits in a Jean-Claude Van Damme stylee
  • A4 – no being a witch
  • B4 – no standing under your own raincloud
  • D4 – no 19th century safari hats
  • D5 – no people.

J & J are back safely, i believe.

In other news….

Friday, 16 October 2009

hooray for ben’s return!

here is my effort, paltry in comparison:

happy weekend!

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Where was I?

Ah yes, Talking pianos. Clever.

And if you don't have enough SQL in your database, I'm sure corporate finance can fix that.

This is not satire.

Saturday, 3 October 2009

heroic little boy…

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/little_boy_heroically_shoots

some stuff people i know have posted on facebook:

for mike: http://www.cesmes.fi/pallo.swf

this is sort of like looba-looba-yey, but worse: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=1047514223313

(and an attempt to imitate it gone wrong, in many ways: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=120554701784)

(now, the question is, is this enough for some evil ai data mining software to figure out who i am?)

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

the daily mash is bang on

BANKRUPT BRITAIN FORCED TO GIVE UP WEAPONS IT NEVER NEEDED

Quite an explicitly political article this, and short on jokes (due to excess anger i guess).  here’s my favourite bit:

“But defence analyst Julian Cook insisted: "Britain's desire to be a big player on the world stage has delivered huge benefits including being dragged into a series of catastrophic wars with America's throbbing tumescence lodged firmly at the back of our throat, while at the same time being unable to afford decent roads, railways, schools and hospitals. It's what we call a 'win-win'.”

here’s a stick-figure guide to AES encryption. hands up anyone that read the whole thing?

brain machine kit – don’t leave home without it!

and one submission from Dave: dungeons for hire. something to do with d&d board games I think, correct me if i’m wrong?

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Rule34(B) continued

EPIC-METAL-BARBERSHOP

 

believe.

 

[update 1] ok, so they use a drum kit… but check out their cover of metallica’s battery (or b’atari as they occasionally pronounce it). even more accomplished capella metal madness. outstanding.

 

[update 2] oh the giggles on this one just don’t end. check out their wikipedia page, where the band members are listed alongside their “instruments”":

  • Dennis Schunke (Sly) – lead vocals
  • Inga Scharf – higher lead vocals
  • Stefan Schmidt – lower rakkatakka vocals, wahwah solo guitar vocals
  • Ross Thompson – higher rakkatakka vocals
  • Ingo Sterzinger (Ike) – lowest dandan vocals
  • Bastian Emig – drums

Who’s up for (finally) starting the world’s first barbershop-gabber group then?  I’ll do the “lower dush-dush dzoing-dzoing vocals”…

Monday, 7 September 2009

Zombi-kleen


thanks to Mike!

Thursday, 3 September 2009

rule 34(B)

“If you can hear it, there is barbershop of it.”

following on from last month’s rain-based example, here is a conclusive proof case:  barbershop Pink Floyd

unfortunately, the search for rule 34(C) – if you can hear it, there is a happy hardcore remix of it – has so far failed to find any example of country-happy-hardcore :( 

(cotton eye joe is not sufficiently authentic)

also: get ready for the US’s fully deniable laser weapons

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

snape kills dumbledore

 

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty! – more classic amazon reviews.

one for the guitars-n-words fans (Dan…) make sure you watch the vid. i was impressed. then read carr & co’s futurephobic moaning…

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Beardyman vs soca vs…

1 million points to the first person to identify the song beardyman is covering (using just his beatboxing skills incidentally, no real instruments) in the comments…

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Maths is fun part 2

xkcd: newton and leibniz

ahaha, yeah.  the highest form of with i tells ya.

 

here’s your thought for the day from stephen pinker in case you feel in need of something else…

“Many intellectuals try to get their ethics on the cheap–by spin-doctoring or even fabricating scientific conclusions so that a morally desirable conclusion falls out of the facts, rather than being justified by a moral argument. They insist that all humans must be biologically equivalent, so that discrimination can be irrational, as opposed to immoral. They insist that humans must be inherently unselfish, honest, and peaceable, so that moral behavior is what comes naturally, rather than something we must strive for and encourage. They insist that behavior is mysterious and inexplicable, so that people cannot use biology as an excuse for their bad behavior–instead of separating explanations of behavior from exculpations of behavior. These confusions are bad for science, because they encourage people to promulgate comforting falsehoods, and bad for ethics, because they root moral positions in empirical claims which could turn out to be false, thereby jeopardizing the very positions they should be making rock-solid.”

a familiar thought to anyone that’s read his books no doubt, but concisely expressed here.  shame the interviewer can’t spell behaviour.

ps – read chris’s latest post.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Maths is fun

if I don’t blog this now, the other 2 readers will no doubt tell me to do so.  So, in case you haven’t seen it yet, and even if you have, I’d like to refer you to the original paper:

image

Munz, Hudea, Imad, Smith? (2009) “When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection” [pdf] by Philip Munz, Ioan Hudea, Joe Imad and Robert J, Smith. In “Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress,” eds. J.M. Tchuenche and C. Chiyaka, Nova Science Publishers, Inc. pp. 133-150, 2009. Available from http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Your mum

Daily Mash: Concerns grow over lack of panic

excellent satire of the media & governmental furore over swine flu:

“But despite their all-out efforts, millions of people across the country have decided to simply wash their hands twice a day and accept that if they do get swine flu the chances of them dying from it are so small as to be really quite tedious.
Nevertheless the department of health will today urge people to empty their freezers, stressing that is where they will have to store their grandmother until the army can collect her and throw her into a landfill.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/concern-grows-over-lack-of-panic-200907201915/

more funny:

ULRIKA BATHING IN VIRGINS' BLOOD, SAY VILLAGERS

Sunday, 19 July 2009

silence young one…

image

from  Apokalyps

Friday, 17 July 2009

JAPAN NOODLE POWER!!!!

 

see, it could be a series of different adds spliced together and then given a new soundtrack. a bit like cillit bang!  but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was actually just the actual add, as broadcast on tv…

Thursday, 16 July 2009

YEEEEEAAAAAAH!

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

the fucking moon

Moon special!

image

“Radio Tre” here in Italy was transmitting some of the original moon landing broadcasts (complete with live italian translation). it made me a little emotional, call me cheesy.

Anyways, in celebration of the most awesome achievement of humanity, here is a part one of a 1mp moon special.

more to come!

Thursday, 9 July 2009

converting human stupidity into charity £££s

http://twitter.co.uk/

 

speaking of worthy causes, clem’s friend started a business. check it out:

http://www.granniesinc.co.uk/

and then check out some charlie brooker.  i’ve said it before chuck really, really creases me up.

the 10 biggest c**ks in advertising

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=videos&search_query=charlie+brooker&search_sort=video_avg_rating

Monday, 6 July 2009

Still no aliens angle, sadly

Real life vs. The Onion. (Spoiler: Real life wins)

(And I lied about the lack of Alien links.)

funnies

image 

from http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=26

image

from http://imgur.com/qzDgC.jpg

and this vid

you may need to google “mother lover” if the vid don’t work.   that is JT.

Worried about the impending technological singularity?

Read Jaron Larnier’s excellent debunking.  But don’t watch the video, it makes you want to punch him in the face.  I bet all his colleagues really hate him.

Still his prose, and his points, are good.  You’ll need to scroll down a bit until it starts – it’s called “one half of  a manifesto”

http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/lanier/lanier_index.html

Don’t know what I’m talking about? here’s “info” on the singularity.

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Faith-off

“A new game show on Turkish television will pit a Greek Orthodox priest, a rabbi, an imam and a Buddhist monk against one another in attempt to convert atheists to their respective religions.”

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/tv/story/2009/07/03/turkey-gameshow-religion-atheists.html

I wanna watch it!

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Kant for dummies – the “green sunglasses” explanation

Apologies to everyone for the self-indulgence, but i wrote this for my course and thought I’d share it with the internets. I promise it’s back to Hello Kitty vibrators and suchlike asap.

 

I looked around to find a nice summary of kant's metaphysics but couldn't, so I thought I'd summarise them for ya's:

Kant in a nutshell:

Here's my favourite way of explaining his insight:  imagine if everyone on earth wore green-tinted sunglasses, all the time.  To them, everything would look green.  In fact, if they didn't know they were wearing sunglasses, and if they had absolutely no way of taking them off, then as far as they were concerned, the world would be, objectively, green.

As it might be with green sunglasses, says Kant, so it is that our brains impose certain things on the way we perceive the world.  Things like space, time, logic and mathematics...  And in fact, it's impossible to conceive of an outside world that's truly independent of the way we perceive it - just as no-one in the green sunglasses world would be able to conceive of a non-green colour.

Without getting into too much techie detail, the question he was seeking to answer with this was "how is it that we know some things about the world to be true, without requiring evidence?" These things, what K. called "synthetic a priori-propositions", are non-trivial bits of knowledge like:

  • all of maths & geometry
  • "every event has a cause"
  • the rules of logic

and so on... Nowadays, we can question some of the above - it's far from clear, for example, that every event has a cause, or exactly what "cause" means...

But the fundamental insight that our objective reality is partially constructed by the ways that our brain perceives the world is a strong one. There's no such thing as colour, except insofar as we perceive it, for example... what else might be like this, we wonder?  Might we one day meet aliens that don't agree with us about Maths?

Here's where it might get relevant to AI - an artificial intelligence has a different type of brain to ours.  They will therefore perceive the world in a different way to us... Could it be radically different?  Or does the fact that AI's will have been (presumably) have been in some way constructed using our human assumptions such as maths and logic, mean that they will share most of the fundamental basis of perception with us?

 

Here's where it might get relevant to AI - an artificial intelligence has a different type of brain to ours.  They will therefore perceive the world in a fundamentally different way to us... Could it be radically different?  Or does the fact that AI's will have been (presumably) have been in some way constructed using our human assumptions such as maths and logic, mean that they will share most of the fundamental basis of perception with us?

 

Suggestions for improvement on the above are welcome, as are any challenges that I’m misrepresenting the big K. My memory if undegraduate days is pretty hazy…

weekly round-up

thanks george, dave, george and cory doctorow, respectively.

Friday, 19 June 2009

Excerpt from Transformers 2 review

“It’s like watching a blender for two hours while someone shouts at you. And then the last half an hour is the same, except it’s more like having your head strapped to a washing machine while you watch a blender and someone shouts at you. And you really need to piss. Still, wicked fun.”

awesome… link

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Predator Rap

Need I say more?

Saturday, 13 June 2009

tuneage!

thx to george for pointing me towards Ragtime Eminem – oh it works, oh yes.

Also DJ Rainbow Ejaculation played at bangface yesterday, george described him as “maybe Shitmat's more hyperactive work crossed with Cassetteboy”.  He has an awesomely upsetting homepage, and has a free mix available for download,.  I’ve only skimmed thru it so far, but cotton eye joe and now is the time occur within 5 minutes. so it can only be good

Thursday, 11 June 2009

the first true portable computer

I just love the register’s style…

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/05/tob_minuteman_1/

“Sputnik's SS-6 rocket demonstrated that the Soviets had a launcher capable of hitting a target from thousands of miles away. A few years earlier, the government had detonated its first H-bomb. Add two and two together, and you get four horsemen of the apocalypse taking an American vacation.

Arise the threat of a US "missile gap." America promptly decided to dial its languishing ballistic missile program to eleven. They had called first dibs on the annihilation of humanity, after all.”

Thursday, 4 June 2009

Thursday, 28 May 2009

Amortised superhero futures

The clear solution to this one. (More of that sort of cutting edge analysis.)

Of course, that pales in comparison to this lot. This did annoy me when I saw the film. (Although they're not nearly as clever as they think they are. Includes suspicious
Grand Unified theory of Schwarzenegger.)

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

George’s snowclone search is the new black

these are most definitely the URL you are looking for:

http://snowcloned.gbmvdd.net/

all your snowclone are belong to that site. in soviet george, snowclone searches you. etc etc.

Monday, 25 May 2009

Corporate Anthems part 3 – Russian energy monopolies.

“Let's drink to you, let's drink to us
Let's drink to all the Russian gas
For those extracting the new sun
From down beneath the ground”

Thanks to Chris M.

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Friday, 22 May 2009

Put your ipod touch to better use…

By strapping it to a US army sniper rifle, and using it as a ballistics calculator:

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Oh yes. from Jungle Dave via The Firearm Blog. The makers claim it’s in use on the battlefields in Irag and fanistan.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

need an awesome t-shirt?

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this one has many (many many) good reviews on amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Available-Various-Sizes/dp/B000NZW3IY

Monday, 11 May 2009

Saturday, 9 May 2009

have you been keeping up with your internet meme?

I haven’t

Need to spend more time on  4chan apparently.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

The Daily Mash

You know, I'm sure I checked out this site a couple of years ago, and wasn't that impressed. Thanks to Leila for rekindling the faith

DON'T PANIC BUT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE:

"Professor Brubaker added: "The world is paying the inevitable price for years of unprotected pig sex."

TAX ACCOUNTANTS ORDER NEW BENTLEYS

"Meanwhile economists and art historians last night congratulated Mr Darling for presenting Britain's first ever surrealist budget.
Bill McKay, deputy director of the Tate Modern, said: "None of it makes sense. Not a single word. It was a very brave thing to do."

VERY BIG TERROR PLOT NOT VERY BIG OR TERRIFYING OR A PLOT, ADMIT POLICE

"A spokesman for home secretary Jacqui Smith said: "Embarrassed? No, we're way, way beyond embarrassment at this stage.
"That's a bit like asking a streaker if he's embarrassed because he hasn't shaved."

BRITAIN'S ONLY SHOP MAKES ENORMOUS PROFIT

"Meanwhile The Shop has continued its popular advertising campaign of pretending there are other shops where all the things are more expensive. Emma Bradford, a council worker from Stevenage who spends all her money at The Shop, said: "The Shop is so much cheaper than Asda and Sainsbury's so I'm not surprised they never even existed."

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Fox's finest

Wouldn't play it at a wedding, but this is quite catchy. (For the curious, the original)

Also it seems we didn't take the hint, and trouble may ensue.

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Occasionally a Dilbert is good enough for the blog:

47103.strip.sunday

click to zoom in.

 

"like the horizon, I am more of a concept than a corporeal being". Classic.

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Child Predator Hands

I have no idea wether or not this is disappointing

And if Harry can post links to crazy* physics papers, then so can I.

(* in this case, that should be read "kerayzeee")

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Charlie Brooker

this made me cry with laughter

"I expect their eyes to light up and declare themselves to be our new masters"

Friday, 27 March 2009

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport


Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

You have to pay attention to the subtleties.its even funnier the second time... the airport information signs are priceless.

Many other excellent vids up there. I recommend

Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat

Best. Library. Ever.

http://uolpi.enwk.net/staff.html

http://uolpi.enwk.net/

ok. it's actually my course project...

No point stopping now (thx george)

image

Aliens vs Predator.  More here, in v high res.

And - My Little Pony Alien:

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Best seen in context of the several other my little pony mods available here:  http://www.marikasurinen.com/sculptures_main.html, including the disturbingly attractive my-little-pony-slave-princess-leia

George, who should be credited with these finds, would also like to point out:

"women: you can't live with 'em.  You can't live without 'em. But you can live within them - for a few months."

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Where was I?

I feel that, for form's sake, an Aliens link must always be prepended. Did you hear about J G Ballard's novelisation? No? Didn't think so.

Anyway, I think I had a point. Maybe Machine Girl knows?

Friday, 20 March 2009

uh-oh

image

from one of the Worth1000 photoshop contests

Friday, 13 March 2009

And in case you missed it

image The economist's last edition LEADER was in support of drug legalisation.  Complete, unequivocal legalisation of all drugs.

http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=13237193

choice quotes:

"That is the kind of promise politicians love to make. It assuages the sense of moral panic that has been the handmaiden of prohibition for a century. It is intended to reassure the parents of teenagers across the world. Yet it is a hugely irresponsible promise, because it cannot be fulfilled."

"Like first-world-war generals, many will claim that all that is needed is more of the same. In fact the war on drugs has been a disaster, creating failed states in the developing world even as addiction has flourished in the rich world. By any sensible measure, this 100-year struggle has been illiberal, murderous and pointless. That is why The Economist continues to believe that the least bad policy is to legalise drugs."

Meant to blog about it last thursday but failed.  Was too excited and didn't hit send.

Now when are they going to start with my other two favourite issues:

  • disbanding the army and replacing it with compulsory education in guerilla tactics and civil non-cooperation
  • banning all forms of advertising

I'll admit there are a few details to be worked out...

Monday, 23 February 2009

Thursday, 19 February 2009

I say it's a hoax

"Pride & Predator" - definitely a hoax.

Best excerpt from the comments, however:

"Sounds great. To be be really effective it should be quite light on the Predator - have really long courtship scene in the countryside and then have the Predator just materialise in a tree and vaporise them. I am a man of simple tastes."

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

This is why I don't use PERL

I don't care how logical it is. I can barely remember C syntax, and it has about 20 operators.

For the rest of the audience, a properly dark piece from The Onion.

Plus some handy laundry tips for Paul.

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

Saturday, 14 February 2009

in japan...

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. IT'S NOT SAFE FOR WORK.  IT'S PROBABLY REALLY NOT ALL THAT FUNNY EITHER.

from the onion.  while you're there, have a look for the "are we giving too much power to the robots that control our lives?" on the onion video news.

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Immortal Dr Who jellyfish poised to rule Earth: Self-mothering clone blobominations amok

image

For anyone that doesn't read the register, "well, you should" (Major, 1994, cited in Izzard, 1996)

ahem, so read this excellent article. excerpt:

"And that's not all. The reborn, undying gelatinous blob-cyst monsters can also "spawn" hundreds of genetically identical clones of themselves, each of which is also immortal and able to replicate itself at will using its own former guts, muscles or whatnot, transformed for the nonce into a thicket of supplementary genitalia"

Sunday, 8 February 2009

facebook group of the week: The fake tan midget and pirate porn appreciation society

image

The Description is worth sticking with until the end:

"to my utter dismay I have found a shocking lack of pirates shagging bleach blonde midget slags with fake tan caked on like they've been wrestling other female midgets in a field of mud, which i also have not been able to find!
or how about amputee porn particularly when they're covered in industrial Swarfega. Licking cats bumholes. Whilst singing Gregorian chants. Badly. While caressing the dead gullets of fish. ACROSS THEIR FAKE BREASTS. And pretending it's ostrich scat.
I demand a broader range of porn for the people who appreciate it for reasons other than sexual gratification, although if thats how you get your kicks, fair play!"

join now!

Sunday, 1 February 2009

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

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The Classic Regency Romance—Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!
Quirk Books

 

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. "

from a blog called crooked timber, which amongst other things features famous economists commenting on science-fiction books.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Eminemmy Hill Who?

"Statistically speaking, there's at least one person on Earth who's a fan of Eminem and Benny Hill and Doctor Who. This video is for that freak."

Also, need that Pac-man hit, but at work and your colleagues watching your monitor for the wrong sort of pie chart action? The internet has the solution!

Saturday, 24 January 2009

For Paul: heavy metal band names chart

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all neatly structured in an inverted pentagram. look out for "triple umlaut" subcategory, and see respected bands comedically dismissed under death --> pleas for help --> adolescent poetry

from http://comicvsaudience.blogspot.com/ via bb

ps, am loosely reminded of this onion article. and, fukkit, this one too. for any more you can do your own search for "metal" on theonion.com.  i won't even mention the "metal council convenes to discuss metal hand sign abuse" article, cos we all know that one.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Obama special!

the original (japanese, natch) website that these are from is down cos this got posted on bb, but i found a few around on the internets.  here they are just for you just for you!

image

 

image

 

YES YES YES!

image

 

 

and, finally, the one that confirms all your suspicions:

 

 

image

 

 

 

and totally unrelated, but just because it made me piss myself laughing:

image

 

thanks to http://ffffound.com/home/autodidactic/found/, original "in japan" link is the full photo set

and the original bb article...

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Rising to it

Illogically I'm actually working harder now I'm a student (not to mention spending vastly less time stationed before a blinking terminal.)

So, the onion, eh? They've got their fingers on (in?) the pulse, certainly.

From "Lego does the physicists"

And, marginally more intellectually, LOLUSA

Bored? Why not play Bastard Tetris. Don't worry, it won't take you that long.